Beauty In My Brokenness

A recurring theme in my life lately has been brokenness. At first glance, that seems like a bad thing. But lately God has been showing me how my brokenness can be a good thing, not only good but beneficial, beautiful even. I feel that sometimes in my busy life, I get this prideful spirit I mistake for independence. The feeling that I am invincible, that no one can hurt me. The walls I place up, so I'm nothing short of untouchable. But, sooner or later it all catches up. Leaving me with these cracks. Leaving me feeling unlovable, as if no one will want my broken self. Leaving me feeling incapable of loving others, of living day to day life even. Robbing me of all joy that I once had. Funny how God works. How every song you hear, every devotional entry,  every sermon or encouraging word points to one thing, until you finally...get it. Through my tears, my anguish, my stubborn belief of the lies the Enemy placed in front of me I..got it. God wants my brokenness. He sees it as beautiful. Why? Because I  finally have no other choice but to cling to the One who hasn't ever stopped clinging to me. Being broken down, I am able to be built up into who He wants me to be.When there is less of me, there is more of Him. God takes delight in broken spirits and hearts. I always love those of us with stories, we who are able to say " This is how far I have been brought.".  We  who have been forgiven much, love much. So maybe, out of my brokenness I will become more compassionate. Maybe my humility will increase, and my pride issues will decrease. Maybe as a result of this, my testimony will become a little stronger.  Eventually, I will become a whole person again. But until then I guess, I'm choosing  to see the beauty in my brokenness.

Blah, Blah, Blah. The power of my big mouth/ those "gab sessions".

God teaches us lessons in the most crazy ways. The ways that hurt us, dig deep down into our souls. Ways that can bring us to tears over some horrible thing done to us, soon followed by a moment of " I do that soo often to others." Lately, I've been dealt with on the issue of my speech. I'm a girl. A girly girl nonetheless. I gossip with my friends more than I should, I'm opinionated, I easily offend others with my brashness. But how often am I quick to judge others? More importantly, how often do I judge others and tell them their "faults"?  We are all human, were all trying. Our Christian brothers and sisters in Christ are trying as well. I believe that as Christians, we can tend to hold these dear brothers and sisters to a much higher standard. Which in a way we should. No arguments about that. But what we fail to remember is that these friends struggle as well. They have a past as we all do. We have no clue as to how far God has brought them. The testimonies of the Saints are beautiful, we can all attest to that fact. However, when we are so critical towards others, forgetting where they came from, where we came from, we can end up placing them back into that pit that God so graciously took them out of. How many times do we speak behind someones back? Gossip always  gets back to the person it is about. How often do they hear words that we, who are supposed to be their biggest fan,have spoken out of judgement? Truth is friends, we have no idea, We just don't! We have no clue how hard it was for them to get out of bed that morning. We have no clue how the hurtful the memories are. We have no clue what a victory it was for them to get through the day without a drink, or a cigarrette. Until we take a good look at ourselves, lets focus on encouraging one another. We have no condemnation through Christ Jesus our Lord, why should we have it through each other?